Gemini Roasts the Commanders Offseason

The Idea

As we entered the dullest possible point of the offseason, now just a week away from training camp, I turned to Ai for some help with content creation. I asked Gemini to roast the Commanders off-season and it came up with 4 areas where it felt the Commanders misstepped in trying to turn the team around. 

The Roast

1. The "Fixing the Edge Rush" Strategy

• The Plan: Hand out a massive 4-year, $96 million contract to Odafe Oweh and sign K'Lavon Chaisson.

• The Reality: Washington essentially looked at two first-round edge rushers who underwhelmed for the teams that drafted them and said, "Yeah, but we can fix them!" Paying $24 million a year hoping Odafe Oweh suddenly morphs into Reggie White is certainly a choice.

2. The Secondary Duct-Tape Job

• The Plan: Cut Marshon Lattimore and completely reconstruct the secondary.

• The Reality: The front office patched up a secondary that got scorched last year by signing Amik Robertson, Ahkello Witherspoon, and Antonio Hamilton Sr. That isn't a secondary overhaul; that’s putting a "Fragile" sticker over a gaping hole on a submarine.

3. Offensive Coordinator David Blough

• The Plan: Bring in new offensive coordinator David Blough to install a new scheme and protect Jayden Daniels.

• The Reality: Blough was playing quarterback in the NFL practically yesterday. Handing the keys of a franchise quarterback’s development to a 28-year-old coordinator who is younger than some of the offensive linemen on the roster is a bold experiment.

4. Giving Jayden "Weapons"

• The Plan: Surround Jayden Daniels with versatile new playmakers.

• The Reality: Bringing in Van Jefferson, Treylon Burks, and Rachaad White feels less like gearing up for a Super Bowl run and more like putting together an fantasy football waiver-wire pickup list from Week 11.

The Verdict: The Commanders spent the offseason shopping in the "lightly used, former first-round pick" aisle. If Jayden Daniels carries this team to the playoffs, give the man his MVP trophy in November.

The Reaction

This is the type of thing that isn’t all true, but hits the places you’re sensitive about. I’m comfortable with the Oweh money, I like David Bough (who is 30, not 28), and I think Rachaad White is a nice addition for this team. At the same time, we can acknowledge that the Ravens likely hoped that Oweh would be signing a second contract with them this offseason instead of joining his 3rd NFL team in what will be 6 seasons. And an offense flush with former Titans pass catchers in Burks, Jefferson, and Okonkwo does not exactly instill a lot of confidence. 

I think the verdict is true in some ways. This offense is going to need Jayden Daniels and David Blough to lift it up beyond what you expect when you look at the names on this roster. 

Commanders Players I’m Excited for in 2026

Breakout candidates and players I’m rooting for this season

• Nick Allegretti has built a solid 8-year NFL career, carrying three Super Bowl rings and proving his value as a reliable interior presence off the bench. Not bad for a 7th round pick. After stepping up as a full-time starter at guard in 2024, he shifted back into a depth role in 2025. Now, he’s embracing a fresh challenge, taking over at Center. Like every other position on the roster, competition is a good thing for a team that needs to have a bounce back year, but I find myself rooting for Allegretti to get the center job and step back into the starting lineup. Do I know that he can do this? I do not. But he takes this role seriously, embraces the opportunity to be a leader, and I’m excited for him to do something it seems like he’s been itching to do. With only Julian Good-Jones and Matt Gulbin behind be Allegretti on the depth chart, Adam Peter’s decision to let Tyler Biadasz walk over a few dollars will look pretty silly if this doesn’t work out. 

• Josh Connerly Jr entered the league as a raw, highly gifted 21-year-old  left tackle. With big-name defensive talent like Jihaad Campbell, Carson Schwesinger, and Nick Emmanwori going shortly after him, the spotlight and scrutiny on the pick remain high. He transitioned to right tackle as a rookie last season and took his lumps along the way but I have high hopes that a strong sophomore season from Conerly will have pundits and fans praising the Conerly selection. 

• Jeremy Reaves has long been a staple on special teams, but the 9-year NFL veteran showed last season that he can handle a real defensive workload when called upon. After playing zero defensive snaps across 2023 and 2024, Reaves logged over 700 defensive snaps in 2025, proving to be a bright spot in a struggling secondary. I know Dan Quinn wants Reaves to be able to save his best stuff for the special teams unit but he’s earned the chance to compete for more defensive snaps and I think he’ll battle his way onto the field again in 2026.